Celebrating The Holidays And Dealing With A Family Death
It is very difficult to deal with the death of a loved one under the best of circumstances. Unfortunately, the death of a loved one during the holidays can cause compounded grief, as every celebration and family gathering is just a little more aggressive when it comes to highlighting the loss. Every belief system can be challenged when it comes to this issue and it’s one that gets more complex with varying situations.
The home can feel empty when a loved one is lost during the holidays. Decorations are up, gifts are wrapped, and even the pup curled up on the foam dog bed in the corner knows that the season isn’t the same. He can’t tell you what to do, but you’d take his answer. Do you move forward with the holiday or do you stop the season now and offer everyone time to mourn.
There is no right way to handle a death during the holiday season. There is no wrong way to handle it either. Whether you’re packing up the baby bath toys a grandparent bought or you’re concerned with how the children are handling the death of a parent, you only have your best judgment to go on.
Many people feel that the holiday festivities depend largely on who passed away. Others feel that there shouldn’t be a rating system within the family and that a single decision should be made for all. Often the best thing that you can do is sit down with the family and talk about it. Young children who aren’t clear on the realities of death and are still hanging their hat on the holiday celebration may be impacted more by canceling the plans.
Older children might feel that holding the holiday might be disrespectful. They often have a strong sense of duty to the morally right, even if they tend to take it too far, as older children are defining their belief system. When you have both older children and younger children in the home, you may not be able to get a consensus.
Even without children, many families can end up stuck regarding how to handle the grieving and the holiday. When two or more adult siblings try to come together to decide the best course of action you can often expect there to be disruption and arguing, which really isn’t very helpful in the end.
The gifts that were left behind and the gifts that were purchased will still be there. It’s very difficult to know the right way to help your family through this. Is it better to return the jewelry or the latest kindle or should you pass them on to someone else? Should you open the gifts or leave them in their packages? Only you can find the answer that you feel your heart believes is right.
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